It has taken me almost 2 years to write this book. A good deal of that time was spent doing research to check my facts and memory. As a scientist, I know that human memory is not the greatest and although I trust my memory with the large details, I am dubious of the smaller details. By using photographs, bills, emails, letters, Myspace, Facebook, other people’s memory and an assortment of records, I have tried to recreate my life as accurately as I could.
There are two things that made writing this book difficult. One, was just the shear volume of stories I had to tell and how to organize those stories. I couldn’t tell them all and figuring out where to put each story or bit took a lot of time. I had pieces of this book spread over 5 or more computers, on pieces of papers, in notebooks, on phones or anywhere else that I wrote things down as I thought I of them. The other part that made it difficult, was the emotional aspect of writing about past love. The pain of recalling all the details hurt, but also healed. This book was as much therapy for me, as a way to leave a legacy for my future children and grandchildren. I want them to see what I went through, and not be alone in what they feel, as they too wander through this wonderful chaos called life. There were sections that made me cry as I wrote them, but there were sections that made me laugh so hard that I was unable to continue.
As a writer, I tried to write this as close to reality as I could make it, but I was always torn by how much I should tell. If I gave more detail, it was more poignant, but it may also have offended or embarrassed those for whom I wrote about. I had come to the conclusion that for certain things, especially things of a sexual nature, I would only tell the details that I think have a large emotional impact or somehow changed things. I have also changed some of the names in this book to protect the guilty.
I really hope you enjoy reading about my life, and that you are able to gain some insight or take comfort about your own life.
Capt. Sean League